There was a time in my life that I would never pass up a milkshake. But I’d have to be certain it was always in front of others so no one would ever suspect anything was off. Then in private, the things I would do and justified doing because no one would ever know were horrendous. But I still knew. And that guilt would reset the cycle all over again time after time. I was drowning and no one knew it. Food RULED my world.
When I became a Mom I realized VERY quickly that our children see and hear literally EVERYTHING. Even the things we thought we got away with, we really didn’t. They are like sponges; soaking everything up. Right down to how we eat. I did not want the same horrendous relationship with food for Hunter. And I knew in order to set the very best example I had to BE that example first. I had to face my food demons and really start working on my own relationship with food.
I am far from perfect but the important thing is that I am making a dedicated effort to do better. And that starts with things like a surprise lunch dates for milkshakes with ZERO guilt and ZERO plans to self-sabotage afterwards. Because sometimes life is about eating dessert first and making those memories in moments that are so fleeting. I have to remember that one milkshake ISN’T gonna make me FAT just like one workout ISN’T gonna make me SKINNY. But a milkshake with my favorite little guy ever IS going to create memories that WILL last a lifetime.