I’m just walking around holding back tears today and it sucks. There has been so much fun and so much excitement this whole week there truly is no need for it and seemingly no cause. I’m literally sobbing as I type this. I’ve also been super snappy with Hunter today and the guilt of that alone is weighing heavy on my heart. It’s so crazy how life can be so joyful one minute then grief says “I think the f*ck not!” And just slams your ass back down again.
Its not lost on me that I’ve been asking God for a good cry. Actually I’ve been begging for it. It could have been any day in the past six months and I was ready for it! But now? Really? With friends in town and with all the fun stuff we’ve been up to? Now? Now is when the tears are gonna finally fall? Grief is such a b*tch and I would never wish it on my worst enemy. So I’m gonna go bawl my eyes out for a minute then continue on with my day. Because I’ve got things to do, places to go and people to see. If you’ve ever had a day like this please know you’re not alone. I certainly hope I’m not.