The greatest life lesson I have learned so far as a Mother is having to release the guilt I carried (and still carry) over putting myself first. I would pour and pour and pour over and over again from an entirely empty cup and expect this most magical and miraculous life to just “happen”. Meanwhile dwelling on all the wrong and ugly I saw within myself that really didn’t exist. It was just a massive ugly and angry figment of all the nasty things I told myself over and over again turned ginormous monster of unworthiness and self-doubt.
The breaking point for me was the realization that if I continued in that manner, that would be the example I would be setting for Hunter. Talk about a wake up call! I was setting the very example I was trying to avoid and the cycle would repeat itself if I continued to put my own needs last. When I fill my cup first I am a better Wife, Mom, Daughter, Sister, Cousin, Aunt, Friend, you get the point. I am a better ME. And when I am the best version of me that I can be I am able to pass that along to others. So of any life lesson I have learned or shared this one is the most important of them all…fill your own cup first.
Being a parent is one of the greatest joys in life, but man it’s NOT always easy. One of the most painful things we can hear as parents is our child(ren) saying “you don’t love me” or “you hate me”. It’s absolutely gut-wrenching! Even after going through the entire rollercoaster of emotions yourself in simply trying to process those words sometimes you come out the other side wondering if that’s truly how you make your kiddo(s) feel! It’s #momguilt at its finest.
I don’t always have the answers. I’m most certainly not always right. And Lord knows I am far from perfect. But I do try my very best. Here are a few tips that have helped guide myself and even Hunter through some of the tough times:
1️⃣ Take a deep breath and do your best to remain calm: Hearing these words can be incredibly emotional, but it’s important to stay calm and not react impulsively. Take as many deep breaths as you need to and give yourself a moment to process your emotions.
2️⃣ Validate their feelings: It’s important to let your child know that you understand how they’re feeling, even if you don’t agree with what they’re saying or doing. Let them know that you hear them and that you’re willing to work together to find a solution.
3️⃣ Reassure them of your love: Make sure your child knows that you love them unconditionally, even when you may not agree with their behavior and especially when they make mistakes. Reassure them that you’re there for them and that you will always be there to support them. Do NOT assume they know that you love them. SAY it! SHOW it!
Remember, parenting is a journey and there will be bumps in the road along the way. Hearing hurtful words from our children can be incredibly painful, but with patience, understanding, and love, we can overcome these challenges and strengthen our bond with our children. Drop a 🏼 in the comments if any of this spoke to you. P.S. you’re doing a great job Momma don’t you forget that.
This kid I tell ya! We are at such a tough stage right now. He knows exactly how to push my buttons, test my patience and frustrate me to no end. And if you ask him he’d say the exact same thing about me. We are water and ice. Oil and vinegar. I have officially been demoted from Mom to #bruh. I’ve been “bro-zoned”. I am uncool and irritating.
I knew this day would come but I did NOT expect to be dealing with a 16 year old attitude in a 6 year old little body. But Hunter is absolutely STOKED! No lie! If you’ve been a witness to his “deeper voice” then you know exactly what I’m talking about. Hell, the other day he was over the moon to show me the hair coming in on his legs!
My Momma heart is hurting but is so damn full all at the same time. This parenting thing is tough AF man. But it’s the most fulfilling job I have ever had. I wouldn’t trade it for a thing!
If you’ve been following along on stories then you know that today has been a rough day. Matter of fact the week so far has been difficult. We are going through an adjustment period with Justin’s new job and Hunter’s behavior has taken a nose dive as a result. It’s so hard to make every day a great one when things are seemingly spiraling out of control. It’s ok to cry about it. Lord knows I did! But don’t throw in the towel on the entire day. You have the power to turn things around even if you don’t quite know how to do that.
I don’t know how best to address Hunter’s behavior sometimes but I’m sure as shit not gonna give up on him or let the behavior slide. Sometimes we have it all figured out and sometimes we figure it out as we go along. But I will always do my very best and that starts with never ever giving up on my day because of a difficult moment in time. Aim to make every day a great one regardless of the curve balls. Even if it doesn’t work out the way you hoped or intended I promise you will never regret trying.
Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. This is as real as it gets. Me sitting alone on the garage floor dripping in sweat, filthier than all get out, messy hair, covered it cuts and blisters and having a good cry.
You see I have been putting off cleaning and organizing our garage since moving here to AZ. Over four years and three moves we have moved shit over and over again. A ton of crap stuffed into random boxes with zero semblance of order that I have fought with Justin about more times than I care to mention.
Why? It’s just been too hard for me to open those boxes. Because like those boxes my life at the time they were packed up was an absolute disaster. I was self sabotaging left and right. I was terrified of what I might find in those boxes and scared it might be triggering.I knew this project was going to be a difficult one. But what I didn’t expect was that I would have to tackle this project while also dealing with Hunter acting out like never before. Sassy, combative, and downright mean! When the words, “I hate you,” came from his lips my Momma heart was not prepared. I sobbed uncontrollably for a solid minute before picking myself up and getting right back to the task at hand.
Two days straight of busting my ass and dealing with little man’s attitude and I got it all done! So now here I sit in the quiet of this garage, all cleaned and organized for the very first time ever. A crap ton of baggage and emotions unloaded forever! I am just taking it all in. A brief moment of pride at all I have accomplished in two days time but also fear and frustration with knowing that the second I walk back into the house I will have to face the struggles I’m sure many of you parents out there can relate to.
If you can relate to anything that I’ve shared above drop a ❤️ below. And to all of the parents out there that are struggling with the “I hate yous” too, know that your are not alone. I see you! Dear Lord please give me patience and strength during this chapter. I need it now more than ever.
Hunter George Stommel – For you, I prayed and prayed hard. I remember every little detail of my pregnancy with you and every single detail of your birth. You are nothing short of a miracle and I thank God each and every single day for choosing me to be your Mommy. You are the absolute sweetest, most loving and considerate little boys that I know. Always a little bit sassy and smart as a whip.
This past year was a difficult year for so many of us as we faced the pandemic. It was especially difficult for Hunter who is such a social butterfly. He understands what the virus is and what it was doing across the world. But even with his level of understanding it still got the best of his emotions from time to time. Especially when it came to not being able to see his best friend Mateo all year or being able to meet new friends at the playground or simply playing with the neighbor kids.
Hunter continues to excel at homeschool. We are still working on Spanish and Sign Language. He works on his school lessons daily via www.abcmouse.com as well as workbooks and hands on projects. We also took advantage of the year round nice weather here in Arizona and took the learning outside as much as we could. This past year he completed Pre-K and will be starting Kindergarten in the fall.
He is still a little foodie and we couldn’t be happier about that. Be sure to check out his “Hunter’s Kitchen” series over on our YouTube channel! The singular food item he sometimes turns his nose up is still Tomatoes but he cannot get enough of raw onions and cucumbers. Together or separate they’re his go-to snack at the moment. He is extremely caring and kind and always willing to help others out. He is constantly helping Mommy out around the house! He also loves streaming video games with Daddy. Ever the dare devil, we still opt for “feet first”, “hands out”, “tuck and roll” methods over “Hunter proofing”. His current hobbies include parkour and riding his new dirt bike. He definitely keeps us on our toes that’s for sure!
Hunter is still just as stubborn and independent as ever. He is extremely inquisitive and asks questions constantly. His love of learning grows each and every day. He is one smart little boy and has taken his problem solving skills to a whole other level. If he can’t figure something out himself he will look it up on YouTube first before even asking us for help. He’s still obsessed with dancing and putting Mommy’s moves to shame. His current song obsession is still “Old Town Road”. He has also taken up a love for working out right alongside Mommy.
Nothing could’ve prepared me for how tough it would be as a parent to watch you grow. I constantly struggle with wanting you to be my baby forever and being over the moon excited at all you have and will accomplish. Mommy and Daddy love you to pieces and are so proud of the little man you are growing up to be. We can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you. Happy 5th Birthday Bug! Here’s to many many more!!!
So I thought it would be fun to do one of those fill in the blank/Q&A dealios again this year not just to share with ya’ll where Hunter’s head is currently at but to also be able to look back upon this year after year and compare his answers. The following questions were asked of Hunter. His responses were given on his own without coaxing, persuasion or coaching.
What is your name? Hunter
How old are you? 5
What are you? Strong, talented, loving, polite and handsome like my Dad
When is your birthday? January 20th
How old is Mommy? 1500
How old is Daddy? 56
What is your favorite color? Green
What is Mommy’s favorite color? Pink
What is Daddy’s favorite color? Green
Whats your favorite food? Fruit Loops
What is your favorite drink? Coca-Cola
What is your favorite fruit? Oranges
What is your favorite vegetable? Cucumbers
Who is your best friend? Carter
What’s your favorite animal? Giraffe
What is your favorite game? Minecraft
What is your favorite sport? Basketball
What is your favorite candy? Sour Patch Kids
What are you scared of? Darkness
What is your favorite television show? Blippi
What makes you sad? The virus
What makes you happy? Getting new video games
Where is your favorite place to go? Uptown Jungle
What do you want to be when you grow up? A gamer
What does love really mean? That my Mom and Dad love me
He is my biggest cheerleader throughout my workouts.
He is the reason I get out of bed every morning.
He is my heart.
He is my soul.
He is my best friend.
He gives me so much joy.
He gives my life purpose.
And gives the absolute best hugs.
All that I do, I do for him.
I work on myself each and every day so that I can give him the absolute best version of me. I work on myself each and every day to teach him the importance of living a healthy lifestyle in mind, body and spirit.
This kid has big dreams and an even bigger imagination. Dress up is just a regular part of our day in this house. So when this handsome fella requests a Hulk shirt and “Sonic” shoes you get them.
There was a time that his Dad and I had trouble simply making ends meet. But now…Coaching has allowed us to make Hunter’s dreams come true. Whether it’s a simple superhero shirt or Sonic shoes today…the sky is the limit for his tomorrow and the future. I’m so excited to be able to dream big right along with him. And I am so thankful for the blessings coaching has given our family.
Do you want to be able to say “yes” to your kiddo(s) instead of “no”? Whether it’s for something as small as a superhero tee or bright red shoes, or as big as their dream hobby or even bigger yet, college. I’m expanding my team and looking for folks ready to run with me. If this is you drop a 💪🏼 below or send me am email. And as always, like, comment and tag away or simply check out the link in my bio for more info.
“Beachbody does not guarantee any level of success or income from the Team Beachbody Coach Opportunity. Each Coach’s income depends on his or her own efforts, diligence and skill.”
I am posting this with the blessing and approval of @alysha.romel. You see, Alysha took the time to write a beautiful and very important post yesterday for World Day Against Human Sex Trafficking. And within a few hours of posting it, it was “censored” meaning there was no way for her post to reach its full potential and be shared with as many folks as it should have.
The reason for the censorship??? “It can influence the presidential election.” Now I don’t know about you but I don’t give a rat’s ass who you want to vote for or even if you vote at all. The fact that her post was censored period is deplorable. So without further a-due I am sharing her original post below with the only changes being changing her daughter’s name to my son’s name and using my own photo. Please go to her page and like, tag and share the original post so it’s given the credit it deserves. Let’s work together to #savethechildren!!!
“NO ONE IS FOR SALE!!! Today is World Against Human Sex Trafficking. Trafficking is not just an issue that happens to people in other countries. The United States is a source and transit country, and is also considered one of the top destination points for victims of child trafficking and exploitation. Right now there are currently 2 million child sex slaves around the world, and between 200,000 – 300,000 of those are right here in the U.S.”
“When I hear those numbers I see 2 million Hunters living in terror. Children just like him, children just like your children, your nieces, your nephews, your grandchildren.”
“Human trafficking is estimated to bring global profits of about $150 billion a year—$99 billion from sexual exploitation, and is considered the world’s fastest growing crime.”
“These statistics are heartbreaking and rarely discussed. There are some things we absolutely cannot stay quiet about and this is one of them. All children have the right to grow up in a safe and healthy family environment, free from violence, exploitation and abuse.”
“Being a Mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” – Linda Wooten
Hands down the most magical day of my entire life was the day that I became a Mom. My journey to motherhood was NOT easy. My pregnancy however, by text book definition was phenomenal and nothing short of a miracle. Hunter himself IS a miracle and proof that God does exist. Looking back I wish I had more of a connection with him during my pregnancy but as some of you know, that first time I felt him move inside of me was terrifying! It was the most alien-like experience imaginable! I hated every minute of it. But the very second he was in my arms that connection was INSTANT! The bond, UNBREAKABLE! The love, GREATER than anything I’ve ever felt!
Being a mom isn’t easy and I am by no means perfect. But I give it my all EVERY SINGLE DAY because it’s what brings me the most joy. And on the days I struggle I seek strength from God and those around me to pull through. Because at the end of the day absolutely no one is perfect but Hunter deserves nothing but perfection. He is in my eyes and God’s absolutely perfect in every single way. He is my “why”, he is my heart, he is my soul, my everything. And without him I would not be who I am today.
Happy Mother’s Day to ALL my beautiful Mommas! However you wish to define that and any way you wish to define that. You are all special and appreciated.