Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. This is as real as it gets. Me sitting alone on the garage floor dripping in sweat, filthier than all get out, messy hair, covered it cuts and blisters and having a good cry.
You see I have been putting off cleaning and organizing our garage since moving here to AZ. Over four years and three moves we have moved shit over and over again. A ton of crap stuffed into random boxes with zero semblance of order that I have fought with Justin about more times than I care to mention.
Why? It’s just been too hard for me to open those boxes. Because like those boxes my life at the time they were packed up was an absolute disaster. I was self sabotaging left and right. I was terrified of what I might find in those boxes and scared it might be triggering.I knew this project was going to be a difficult one. But what I didn’t expect was that I would have to tackle this project while also dealing with Hunter acting out like never before. Sassy, combative, and downright mean! When the words, “I hate you,” came from his lips my Momma heart was not prepared. I sobbed uncontrollably for a solid minute before picking myself up and getting right back to the task at hand.
Two days straight of busting my ass and dealing with little man’s attitude and I got it all done! So now here I sit in the quiet of this garage, all cleaned and organized for the very first time ever. A crap ton of baggage and emotions unloaded forever! I am just taking it all in. A brief moment of pride at all I have accomplished in two days time but also fear and frustration with knowing that the second I walk back into the house I will have to face the struggles I’m sure many of you parents out there can relate to.
If you can relate to anything that I’ve shared above drop a ❤️ below. And to all of the parents out there that are struggling with the “I hate yous” too, know that your are not alone. I see you! Dear Lord please give me patience and strength during this chapter. I need it now more than ever.