For a VERY long time I believed in the saying, “fake it till you make it.” But belief in that adage almost killed me. Truth is, you can only take the fake so far before cracks start to form in your lies.
The smile I shared, fake. The food I ate, fake. The emotions I showed, fake. I used makeup, clothes and material things to fake that smile. I used food to cover the truth that I was a binge eater who was also bulimic. The emotions I showed were strictly driven by too much alcohol. I was lost and drowning.
I promised myself when I started sharing my journey of health with the world that I would not be a part of the fake. I now put all faith in God first. What is meant to be will be and I refuse to fake a single thing along the way. I choose to live and share my life flaws and all. I am FAR from perfect and will never again claim to be. So while I do believe the glass is half full not half empty and what you speak of you attract, I also recognize that our journey is never easy and it’s not meant to be so.
Right now I am in a tough season and while I don’t want to attract more sadness and sorrow this is my journey and I’m meant to walk through it. I feel it would be a great disservice to all that I represent and live for not to share the full truth with y’all. I believe that by sharing my strength through all the hardship others will find the motivation and inspiration they need to do the same.
So while some of you who have been with me since the beginning may feel my posts and stories as of late are a huge shift from the normal content I hope this post gives a little explanation behind the reason for that shift. Far too much fake is shared online and I don’t want to be a part of it. I’m not here to share the highlight reel. I’m here to share the REAL! I want to be remembered as someone who was real, raw and transparent in much needed times of equal hardship. Remember it’s the same me, just different content as I settle into my new normal.
