From Hiding to Healing

I have suffered a good majority of my life with an eating disorder and severe body dysmorphia. When I was at my thinnest I TRULY believed I was still fat. I would starve myself until my body was too weak to function then binge until I felt like I was going to pop. And when the guilt of the binge would set in I would purge until there was nothing left. That cycle would continue from middle school on throughout most of my adult life. And for many many painful years I hid it all behind alcohol. So a few years back I gave up the heavy drinking and jumped both feet in to my health and fitness journey never really addressing the root cause of my horrendous relationship with food and my body.

When my eating disorder reared its ugly head again in November I knew I needed to make some SERIOUS changes because there is NO WAY IN HELL I was going to continue to live THIS example for Hunter. Like most kids do, he knows, he hears and he sees so much more than we think. There was no doubt in my mind that it would only be a matter of time before he caught on. After all there is NO MORE HIDING the very second you become a Mom and there is no more hiding behind the booze anymore. Hunter is and was once again “MY WHY”.

So I put my head down and started doing the inner work that I have been hiding from my entire life. I didn’t want to go where I needed to go but I’m thankful I found the strength to do so. Because in doing so I am able to see where things all started to go wrong so I could finally begin my healing journey and start to break the cycle. My past may be the source of my wrongs but it’s not an excuse to remain stuck in a toxic cycle of self harm.

These last few months have NOT been easy but when we had a life altering event back in May that ALMOST but did NOT derail my progress whatsoever, I knew that I was on to something. Not every day is perfect but what I am doing IS WORKING. I’ll be sharing more very soon on what I’ve been doing to break the toxic ED cycle. So be sure to give this post a save and stay tuned!

Embracing the Scale

I want to share my thoughts on something that has been a rollercoaster ride in my health and fitness journey: the scale.🎢⚖️ Let’s be honest, for the longest time, I allowed that little device to hold WAY too much power over me. I’d step on it anxiously, seeking validation from a number that would define my worth.😔 But oh, how wrong I was! Recently, I’ve embarked on a journey to redefine my relationship with the scale. It’s become a tool that empowers me rather than enslaves me, and as I step on the scale this morning up a pound I wanted to share some of my insights with all of you.

First and foremost, remember that your weight doesn’t define you. You are a radiant being, brimming with unique qualities and infinite potential.🌟💫 The scale is merely a measurement of gravitational force, not a measure of your worth, beauty, or progress. Repeat that mantra daily!

Now, let’s talk about using the scale mindfully.🧠 For me, it has become a tool to track my progress and keep myself accountable. I’ve learned to detach my emotions from the number it displays. It’s just data, a snapshot in time, subject to fluctuations caused by numerous factors. Remember, progress isn’t always linear. Our bodies are miraculous and complex, and weight can fluctuate due to various reasons like water retention, muscle gain, or hormonal changes.🌊🌕 So, rather than fixating on daily fluctuations, I focus on long-term trends and how I FEEL in my own skin.

My fitness journey isn’t just about the weight; it’s about nurturing my body, mind, and spirit. I celebrate non-scale victories like increased energy, improved strength, and a positive mindset. These are the true measures of progress! It’s easy to get trapped in a toxic relationship with the scale, where it becomes an obsession, fueling negative self-talk and harming our mental health. I urge you all to embrace a healthy relationship with the scale, rooted in self-love, mindfulness, and perspective. Use it as a tool, not a judge. Celebrate your victories, both on and off the scale.🎉👏🏼 Remember that your journey is unique, and you are worthy of love and acceptance every step of the way!🌻🫶🏼

Burnt Out From Working Out?

Let’s talk about burnout from working out.🪫💔 Yes, even fitness enthusiasts like me can hit a wall sometimes. And well, after successfully completing #75HARD back to back years I had hit that wall. 🧱🔥

It’s crucial to listen to our bodies and minds when they’re telling us to slow down. And I’ve taken the better part of a year to do just that. So if you’ve been feeling the burnout blues too fear not, because I’ve got four tips to help you bounce back stronger than ever. 🚀💪🏼

1️⃣ Embrace Rest & Recovery: Give your body the chance to repair and recharge. You’ll come back feeling revitalized and ready to tackle those workouts with renewed energy. 🥱🪫

2️⃣ Mix Up Your Routine: Feeling burnt out might be a sign that your routine has become monotonous. Shake things up! Try new exercises, break into random dance parties, or engage in outdoor activities. Rediscover the joy of movement and make it fun again! 💃🏻🕺🏻

3️⃣ Set Realistic Goals: Set goals that challenge you without overwhelming you. Celebrate each milestone along the way, no matter how small, and remember that fitness is a lifelong commitment. 🎯🌟

4️⃣ Feed Your Soul & Mind: Use your downtime wisely. Dive into some personal development. Read a book, listen to a podcast or two, practice yoga and/or meditation or even start a new hobby. 🧘🏻‍♀️📚

Remember to be kind to yourselves and acknowledge when burnout creeps in. Take a step back, recharge, and come back even stronger! 💪🏼🔋

Let’s Talk About Confidence

I don’t know about you but confidence is NOT something I was born with. But it IS something I am committed to working on every single day. With hard work, patience, and self-love it IS possible to cultivate a positive body image and feel good about yourself. I KNOW this to be true because I’ve FELT it. Right here in this moment for the first time in a very long time I actually felt CONFIDENT and comfortable in my own skin. When you believe in yourself, you CAN achieve anything you set your mind to.

To anyone else out there who may be struggling with self-doubt and bad body image know that you are capable of embracing and loving yourself just as you are. Keep pushing through and remember that true beauty comes from within. Don’t let negative thoughts or societal pressure hold you back. Take small steps EVERY DAY to care for your body, mind, and soul. Lastly, don’t forget to celebrate your progress along the way. Even if it’s as small as wearing a cropped top in public for the first time ever. Or as BIG as wearing a cropped top in public for the first time ever!!! Celebrate the shit out of that stuff babe! You deserve to!